Sunday, May 16, 2010

Catch and Release Friendship

I am currently reading same kind of different As me for the second time. The first time I read it I flew through it reading it in one day. I loved it and its story resonated in my heart. The second read comes about a year later and have been slower. This time it is truly piercing my heart. It breaks at the story and the editing. It's outstanding. If you haven't read it you should. Start right now. I mean it.
About midway through the book Denver uses the phrase "catch and release friendship." Tears poured down my face as conviction went straight through my heart. I am by no means an expert in friendship. Most of the time I wonder how worth it friendships really are. I know I cannot survive without community and am grateful for those in my life who don't let me live without it, but most of my relationships start out as "catch and release." You see, I love befriending people who are new or in transition I just don't love maintaining those friendships. I plug them in, find them friends, get them connected, then I'm done. I'm out. I move on.
I was deeply hurt in friendships as a child. It seemed as though everyone walked out on me. I learned young that everyone leaves. As an adult I try not to get attached to friendships. I allow them to run their course and then release. I don't release people back into their old environment I make sure they are in a new and better one, but I release none the less. It seems the people who are still my friends are the ones who refuse to be released. Thank you for being that to me and for helping me to live my life in community. I know I cannot exist alone and cherish your love and friendship.
Lord, help me not to see friendships as "catch and release." Help me to be "a real friend. Forever."